FUCKING LESSON

My family, a mix of English and Native American (mostly Cherokee) heritage from the Midwestern plains, had fled westward from the Oklahoma dust bowl in the 1930s. My maternal grandma taught me the old native ways about sex, about how sex was for the woman, and the man had to prove himself sexually worthy to give himself to her. Grandma taught me that I had to own my sexuality, to take charge of it. I did that my own way, and I don’t think this is what grams had in mind. I met this local band. Watching a boy waving pom-poms was something new, but they would get used to it. The four girls who were already on the squad liked Tony and were not threatened by his prowess but rather impressed by it, and so accepted him enthusiastically. He would jump up and wave his pom-poms when the team scored, but he didn't get all squeally and excited like the rest of the squad. It wasn't appropriate for a boy he thought, even though the emotion was there.His Mom was quite pleased but his father was. I knew I was supposed to learn to obey and be polite and considerate to my elders. I knew I was supposed to gain the perspective of girls and appreciate what they go through. I still didn’t really understand the need for pain and humiliation in the process. I was actually enjoying dressing like a girl even though I didn’t want to admit it.We walked right into TG&Y as if it were perfectly normal - which it seemed like to any outside observer. I was simply a flat-chested girl who talked and. "At least neither of us is in jail," were her first words."Not yet." You did a good thing. Don't forget it." I know. Still she was right. We should have asked permission." The hell we should! She'd never have given it." Then maybe we should leave her be." If a person was drowning, and they couldn't yell for help, wouldn't you still throw them a life preserver?" A little overly-dramatic, don't you think?" No. She's going down for the third time, and is in complete denial. By the time she accepts.
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